Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
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I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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