Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
