I could have mohawked her pubes.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
