i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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