But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
