I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
