I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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