the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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