Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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