My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
