Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i believe in u and ur pee
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
