So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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