dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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