Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
