Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
