Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
