He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
