I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
