Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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