All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
