Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
