I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
