u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Who died my cat blue again?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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