Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
