I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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