Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Less talking, more tequila
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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