he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
