he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
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I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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