Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
