where am i from again
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
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I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.