If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now