Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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