Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
