dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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