went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize