Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
