Pappa wants mamma naked
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
