sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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