I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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