we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize