...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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