SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
