dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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