I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
