only if we run a train.
done.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
