she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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