he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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