i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
