I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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