Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
