Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
