You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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