just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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