fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
