he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
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I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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