Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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